News says dead. I beg to differ.
First of all, I can’t possibly believe that these two guys are the same person. There’s no way anybody would let this happen to themselves without an ulterior motive.
Second, he married Elvis’ daughter. It’s fairly obvious that he got to know Lisa Marie through the family during dinner parties at Elvis’ place. Elvis’ new place, that is. Elvis moved out of Neverland due to the all the police that kept stopping by and interrupting his “alone time”.
Finally, and I hate to bring this up, but there’s the whole court thing. A guy with that kind of scratch, power, and influence could very easily have somebody else “represent” him through the court proceedings. Would I want to go to court to face those kind of charges? Heck, no! I’d find somebody that could impersonate me for a cool couple of million and send them to the lions.
For all of you still wondering, here’s the real story:
After the massive success of Off the Wall, followed by Thriller and Bad, he went into seclusion. He hired an impersonator (of which there were many) to cover for him at public appearances. It was very difficult to find a lookalike that had the dancing and singing nailed – AND that looked like him. There just wasn’t anybody that embodied all those traits. How did he get away with this? By leaking rumors that he’d had plastic surgery.
While in seclusion, he still produced his own music and admittedly hung out at Neverland with the kids, but all the while he was building his underground empire in the Bahamas. He would lay down the tracks to his new music from his Bahamian empire and he would still perform onstage at large venues when he got the urge.
It’s true, he married Lisa Marie, and they’re still together today. But it was his double that appeared on MTV – that’s why that infamous kiss seemed so awkward. Lisa Marie thought it was just going to be a quick peck on the cheek, but the impersonator totally planted a big old sloppy tounge kiss on her. This enraged Michael, and he fired the impersonator shortly thereafter, and they decided they should dissolve the marriage in public (although to this day, their romantic flame burns even hotter).
Michael struggled to find a new imepersonator that would do his image justice but yet again he simply couldn’t dredge up anybody from Star Search reruns (shout out to Ed MacMahon – we’ll miss you) that met his high standards. Therefore, he had to deface his public image yet again, and thus began the transformation into the Michael that has been the source of such ridicule. You see, it wasn’t the result of compulsive urges to have horribly conceived and possibly botched plastic surgery done – this was all the planns of a true mastermind. He created an image that was absolutely and unmistakably ”him” that he could recreate with hollywood prop shops in the form of a mask for his body double. This ingenious move allowed him to hire impersonators regardless of whether they looked like him or not. Sheer genius, I tell you.
This charade went on for almost a decade, when Sony finally caught on. Sony threatened to expose Michael as a fraud and seek damages for breach of contract. This action prompted the singer to cause his public image to be cast into legal and emotional turmoil, allowing the public to believe he had lost his grip on reality. Again, stroke of genius. By alienating his dedicated fan base and casting his integrity into doubt while further altering his public “face”, he was even able to go out in public again.
Michael ran that persona until he was tired of it and decided it was best to let this “character” die. And so he did. With this passing, he has created a wake of unanswered questions, just as his friend Elvis had. Due to his stature, he has had to go to great length to keep his secret through this process. Allegations of improper care by his personal physician (who is with him in his compound in the Bahamas, of course), keeping staff from entering the hospital while he was allegedly there, and finally the funeral ceremony – all part of a carefully staged plan.
Bravo, Michael. Tell Anna Nicole, Steve Fossett and Princess Diana I said hi. And don’t let Elvis get you hooked on peanut butter and banana sandwiches, they’re hell on your cholesterol. Your secret’s safe with me.
THIS JUST IN: Closed casket at the Staples center. Oh, magic eight ball, what sayeth you, be he dead or be he alive? … “All signs point to yes”.